Reviewing Legal Painkillers

Hats off to people who don't need painkillers, and gold stars for everyone who is in pain, but prefer instead to muscle through their reminders of Eve's preference in produce.

As someone who recently burned a hole in her stomach from Advil... it's high time I reviewed all the cute little pills in my cupboard that can be identified as "over the counter". Which somehow translates too "You can't kill yourself too easily with them." Starting new found favorite: Poor man's crack.

BC Powder (Aspirin):
This stuff comes in questionable little packets of white powder that you probably don't want the police finding. You can tell yourself it's healthier than the competition, because technically it's made from white willow bark and has no additives or preservatives. Add a good ol' shot of caffeine (pre-mixed in for your convenience), hold it under your tongue for super fast headache relief, and you will start worshiping this lesser known evil. It's a painkiller that rivals Excedrin...minus the guilt.
Tylenol (Acetaminophen):
The goodie two shoes of the medicine cabinet. A puny little girl who does the least harm in terms of bodily damage, but also packs about as much punch as a ribbon twirler. Technically it's not very good for your liver... assuming you're one of the few people left in the world who actually take it more than twice a year, only to remind yourself it doesn't work. Good to keep stocked in the cupboard for children.

This is the Darth Vader of socially acceptable meds. That is, if you put Darth Vader in a black tutu and gave him a caffeine addiction. Excedrin infamously packs enough stuff considered "bad for you" to give it a questionable edge. Although the package only claims three ingredients, acetaminophen, aspirin and caffeine, so maybe it's undeserving of it's bad boy reputation. If you live among health nuts, then you will think twice about being seen in public with it. Secretly though, you carry a torrid love affair.

Advil (ibuprofen):
The Jock and self proclaimed snob.'s not just a painkiller, it's also an anti-inflammatory. Go on a long bike ride, or work yourself into a backache, and this is the breakfast of champions. Since it's regularly perscribed by doctors in 800 mg doses, no one feels guilty for self medicating the same way. Unlike Tylenol, it isn't hard on your liver, instead choosing to bully up on the stomach. Everyone knows that stomachs are less important than livers, so it's much easier to get carried away with this painkiller-that-is-also-an-anti-inflammatory (It doesn't just mask the heals). You can buy it at Costco in pirate treasure quantities, but remember... if you regularly take four at a time for more than three months, you will end up with an ulcer. I knew this, but somehow wasn't paying attention.

The good, the bad, the ugly.

It isn't alcohol or vicodin, and they aren't smuggling it over the border, so come... partake.

4 sprinkles of fairy dust:

I try to avoid taking things I can't pronounce the ingredients of!

This post cracks me up. :)

I normally use Ibuprophen for all aches and pains. But since I'm currently pregnant and forbidden to use almost everything, I've been taking ungodly amounts of Tylenol (I get headaches almost every day). Sometimes it works; sometimes it doesn't. :P

My husband swears by BC powder, but I have a hard time getting it down without some serious gagging.

i will do everything in the world to avoid taking pain meds (other than the fact i don't swallow pills well, i'm not sure why), including marathon headaches lasting several days.

that being said, i've found only Excedrin to be the one that works worth anything.

I am very unfortunate in that I am allergic to Ibuprofen. Which, by the way, works quite well for me. So Tylenol it has been...somehow I was not previously aware of these other painkiller possibilities. SO EXCITED. :D