When one sewing machine dies, it's unfortunate.

When two sewing machines die, it's bad luck.

But when not three...not four...but five sewing machines all don't work at the same time? Man, that is some crazy genocide going on in the sewing machine fairyland.

(the fifth one is in pieces do to my pathetic attempts to perform an autopsy and is not featured here)


Something my friends, is rotten in the state of Denmark.


How is it possible that when 250 cloth napkins, 6 bridesmaids dresses, 2 tablecloths and 2 bowties all need the attentions of a needle/pedal/motor combination before next week, every sewing machine decides to kick the bucket. Coincidence? I think not.

Whatever house brownie is wrecking mischief in my house, please stop. If you continue on with your dastardly deeds I shall be forced to stuff bits of cold iron in all the obscure corners of this house. Beware, I am close to an ulcer and the bride has lost her marbles to the point of going into hysterics over public restrooms.

Oddly enough...the cheap little Walmart special is still going strong. Go figure.


To the Bernina, Viking, Singer, Singer and White:

May you RIP.