Reviewing Maple Planks - Bacon Slather Chicken

1:30 PM
I sort of did things backwards in terms of plank grilling. The cedar wraps I tried first seemed more exotic than plain, old, plank grilling (as if). And they also seem like they should be more complicated.



But it turns out pepper jack stuffed chicken, with chipotle bacon slather, is actually quite a bit more complicated than it sounds.



First of all, a secret about chicken. If you really cannot risk having tough chicken, (like when you buy all sorts of special ingredients and so that chicken gosh-darn-better turn out moist). Marinate it in buttermilk. I learned it from Giada on the cooking network years ago and it has never failed me. Something about the buttermilk breaking down the fibers in the chicken and making it super tender and flavorful...I don't know. Ask Alton Brown. All I know, is when you need to make sure your chicken cooperates...soak it in buttermilk.

Also, see that little can of chipotle chilies in adobo sauce? For some reason I was under the impression they were some gourmet, expensive commodity. Turns out they cost less than a buck and will last you forever (unless you're a sucker for melting your insides). I groan when I think of all the recipes I've skipped or modified, and I have no excuse.



You soak the plank for an hour, and unlike the cedar wrappers, you can use these planks again presuming you soak them good enough. I soaked them in water, but Jim poured a shot of brandy in because he's wild like that. Honestly, I couldn't tell in the end product, but it sounds cool.

Unlike the cedar wrapped shrimp, this dish took quite a bit of prep work. It doesn't help that raw chicken is kind of gross and I felt like I was getting chicken cooties everywhere. The wild natives* and my caffeine crash were partially to blame, because I quite literally flung raw chicken everywhere. Raw chicken is disgusting. Not only does it feel like you are spraying salmonella perfume around your kitchen, but it also looks like dead human flesh. (I'm quickly talking myself into being vegetarian here I realize). I had to completely bleach and disinfect my counters and throw everything in the dishwasher for a sanitary rinse before I could make the salad. It was that bad. I was not on my A game.

On a less disgusting note. I didn't have pepper jack, but I did have jack, jalapenos and anaheim chilies, so I chopped them up and stuffed them in the chicken breasts for a homemade pepper jack. I have to say it was much tastier than even the store bought kind.

Bacon. Bacon makes everything better.

I was really surprised by how powerful the maple smell was. Open the grill up to check on the chicken and BAM, you get a full wave of all your favorite campfire memories. Thankfully, right about now it was looking a lot more appetizing and smelling even more amazing. Maybe all that work was not for naught.



I served it with these mashed potatoes with garlic, mascarpone, and caramelized leeks.
And I have to admit it was all pretty spectacular. But not in a comfort food sort of way, but more like South America meets the Old West in a clash of fireworks. If this meal were an outfit, they'd be stripped stockings, under a Victorian lace dress with an opera mask and stilettos.


Recipe:
Maple Plank (soaked at least one hour)
Chipotle Bacon Slather:
-1 C. Mayo
-1/2 C. crumbled bacon
-1/4 C. chopped green onion
-1 chopped Chipotle chile in adobo sauce

four 4-5oz boneless, skinless chicken breast halves
8 slices pepper jack cheese

1-make indirect heat in your grill
2-to make slather: combine all ingredients
3-cut a horizontal pocket into each chicken breast without cutting all the way through. Stuff each pocket with 2 slices of cheese, then place chicken breasts on plank. Spread each breast with the slather, making sure to spread it so as to seal the edges of the chicken to the plank
4-place the plank on the indirect side of the grill. Close lid and cook until the part of the breasts register 160F (25-35 min)
5-Serve the chicken

* (Picture of a wild native)
Between potty training, rolling in the dirt, and screaming like a banshee, I have no idea what happened to Charlie, but he has been replaced by this sarcastic, little, non chicken eater.
Read On 0 sprinkles of fairy dust

Reviewing Cedar Wraps

2:48 PM
Cedar wrapped balsamic shrimp, with peppers and cilantro.


This is one of those things where it felt like my sock drawer had a collision with the ocean and my kitchen. Shrimp and cedar? Weird right?

I've heard of grilling salmon on planks, and even found a really sweet recipe last Christmas for planked figs and pancetta. I didn't know however, you could buy sheets of wood so thin it's almost like paper. But I'm always up for new things, even though cooking meat successfully is difficult for me (I almost always ruin it or overcook it), and I definitely can't grill. What could be difficult about wrapping up some fresh seafood in paper and grilling it?

Nothing actually. It was as easy as it sounded.

The idea with cedar wrappers (or any plank grilling) is to soak the wood in water/juice/wine/whatever. Then when you grill your food on the soaked wood, you infuse your food with all the smokey goodness and flavor of the wood. I'm a newbie at this, so I soaked the cedar wraps in water for 20 min.

Probably one of the reasons I'm so bad with grilling, is I tend to forgo the recipe. In this case however, my lackadaisical cooking paid off, because this shrimp could not have tasted better.


I tossed together some olive oil and balsamic vinegar, with shrimp, cilantro, red bell pepper, red pepper flakes and garlic. And that was that.

I really wish I could say it was harder, that I slaved away, or that it took an incredible amount of skill, but honestly it took about 10 min. The filling was ready to go by the time the wrappers were done soaking.



I arranged the shrimp mixture on the cedar wood like I was making a burrito.

Then wrapped it up and tied it with twine.
The hardest part was finding the end to the twine. (don't judge me...ahem)
Grilled it on med high...three min on each side and it was done!

I served it with wild rice pilaf and salad with a cucumber dill dressing (the coolness of cucumber dill dressing helped tone down the spiciness of the shrimp).


Jim gave it an enthusiastic thumbs up...the kids liked it ok, but weren't a fan of the spiciness.

I can't wait to try planked chicken next.

Serves 2

1/2 lb Shrimp
3 T C balsamic vinegar
2 T olive oil
2 cloves of garlic minced
half bunch of cilantro chopped (if you don't like cilantro, you could use parsley)
1 t red pepper flakes (ommit these entirely if you don't like spicy food)
half bell pepper diced
Salt to taste

Combine in a bowl, put half of mixture on each cedar wrap. Roll with the grain, tie with twine. Grill on med high for 3 min/side.

I used Outdoor Gourmet's Cedar Wraps.

~Esther~
Read On 3 sprinkles of fairy dust

Embers and the Question of Foreknowledge

4:08 PM

Bethany:

If you can't judge a book by its cover, how do you decide whether or not to read it? Reviews? Blurbs? Recommendations?

Although I tend to theoretically favor recommendations, I must say that I am a bit of a blurb addict. Whenever a story doesn't capture my attention immediately, I catch myself flipping to the front flap or back cover to remind myself why I thought the book looked interesting.

But sometimes it is hard to explain why a story is worth reading. Even trying to explain would interfere with the artistry of the telling.

I found this most strikingly the case in a documentary my husband and I watched recently. It had been recommended, so we watched it with very little idea of what to expect, and that was perfect. Every twist and turn of the story was entirely unexpected and thus packed with all the intended emotional weight of first discovery.

But I've found that whenever I try to tell people about it, I seem to only have three options. Give a blank recommendation (ha! as if anyone would trust me that much), try to explain the basic premise without spoilers (met with glazed eyes), or ruin the emotional impact of an unspoiled watch-through by just spitting out the mysterious reasons that drag in the viewer.

This goes back to Embers, I promise. A friend recommended it, and because I do trust that much (er, and it was a fairly short book O:), I picked it up and read it without any research and thus hardly any foreknowledge. Wow. Talk about a reading experience. From page one, the story pulls the reader along with deft hints and foreshadowing, promises of mysteries and then mysteries as promised.

It is a very satisfying read, especially if you have someone to discuss it with afterward.

The only problem was that once again I was left at a loss for how to make the book sound amazing to others (besides, you know, just saying "guys! it was amazing!" Because everyone has a different definition of amazing). So I googled it and discovered that apparently I'm not the only person with that problem, because even the blurbs nonchalantly blurted out the book's secrets as if there were no reason why they had been artfully woven into the heart of the story.

Not to say that a story can't be well written and worth reading with foreknowledge, but how many people are going to be interested in picking up a murder mystery if they already know whodunit, and can you really feel the intended tension of a thriller if you already heard what the big reveal is and know who the double-agents are?

I'm not sure where the balance is for recommendations, blurbs, and reviews, but it feels like a huge responsibility to try to give enough info to catch a person's interest but not enough to undo all that hard work the writer put into crafting the perfect story. Perhaps the best thing really is just to say, "it was really good - read it!" and just hope that a few people take your advice like I took the advice of my friend.

So Embers. It was really good - read it!
Read On 5 sprinkles of fairy dust

Stop And Smell The Skunk Cabbage Vol. 25

2:08 PM
1. A couple of weeks ago I linked an etsy store that made vases out of recycled old books. I also wished I could find a tutorial. Now I have a tutorial!

2. Theobromine. The thing about chocolate you didn't know you loved. Apparently scientists are testing chocolate as an effective cough medicine. The plus side? No known side affects...except well, maybe a few extra lbs on your hips.

3. Use hairpins to pit cherries or olives, and pie birds? I'd never heard of such a thing, but so cool to bake a black bird in a pie.

4. Pretend to be a hobbit for a few minutes. Or at least pretend you're hanging out behind the scenes on the set of The Hobbit. I was was geeking out, and may or may not have watched it twice. Is it bad I wish I could be an employee in the wardrobe dept?

5. Space invader fabric. For all your vintage, computer game, sewing needs.

6. I've often wondered how you draft patterns onto pdf... or draft patterns period. There's an excellent series of blog posts on just that over at sew mama sew.

7. Wonky google satellite images. Something went wrong with these pictures, but they're fun to stare at and pretend they really exist somewhere.

8. I don't have a nursery... or a baby to put in one, so there's no reason I should keep fawning over them. Sometimes I find ones that are too good to pass up. Like this one. Love, love, love the alphabet cards on the wall. Also the color of this nursery looks like it would calm even the most frazzled postpartum hormones.

9. A gothic treehouse? This stairway only looks like a fraction of what I instantly imagined and want to build...if we had trees.

10. I didn't know you could make marshmallows. Marshmallows in general are disgusting, but this recipe looks like a fun science experiment. Also, my kids did not inherit my distaste for the choking, nauseating texture of these little buggers of sugar.

11. Catechism question for the week. How does Christ execute the office of a priest?
Read On 2 sprinkles of fairy dust

The $5 Picnic Game

7:55 AM
I've had a couple of those terrible, horrible, no good, very bad days.
The weather had the audacity to be gorgeous, flaunting its prettiness in my misery. As much as I'd like to punch Spring in the face, I decided instead to use it as a much needed hole to crawl into. Since our house backs up against the Cleveland National Forest, there's really no excuse for not walking out my back door and leaving civilization and all its drama behind (forest in this sense is a strictly bureaucratic term, since there isn't much in the way of trees).



Not making dinner + laying on a picnic blanket with my husband, children and dog, sounded... better than wonderful. But could it be done for less than $5? Inexpensive recreation is sort of a must for us (it helps if we think of it as a game).

The menu:
French Baguette (.60)
Dill Havarti Cheese (1.93)
Turkey Pastrami (1.50)
Strawberries (1.60)

Total.................. $5.63 (so close)

Fruit, bread, meat and cheese. Life really doesn't get much better than that.


Things that made it possible:

1) Snatching the bread off the clearance shelf.
2) Buying the featured cheese Sprouts puts on sale (the nice thing about bulk cut cheese is you can dig around until you find the smallest...and therefore cheapest chunk)
3) Going with pastrami instead of salami (pastrami was on sale this week for $3/lb and a half pound fed our family just fine).
4) Buy 'in season' and local fruit. In this case...strawberries. Oranges and mangoes are also ridiculously inexpensive right now, but I went with strawberries.

Mostly because the boys are strawberry mongers.


And Charlie, who hitherto disliked cheese with a passion...


...seems to have finally connected with the 18% Italian blood he has. I'm pretty sure he and his dad are guilty of consuming the most cheese.




This dead Yucca got a brief moment of afterlife glory. Approx 20 seconds after this picture was taken, Jamie smacked me in the head with it, knocking my cup out of my hand, and sprinkling our picnic with a generous shower of strawberry lemonade.

Which speaking of... was my one cheat. I have all those frozen lemon cubes in the freezer from the week of lemons, and I may or may not have used those with some of the strawberries to make homemade strawberry lemonade. For the record, it was way way better than any of that stuff you get at Sonic or Chili's.

We also brought our personal rattlesnake guard (not me... but the one hiding behind the lemonade). You can see he's taking his job very seriously.

We had so much fun, I think we're going to make $5 picnics a permanent part of our menu rotation. (at least until it hits 100 degrees outside)


Any other ideas for what you could pack on a $5 picnic? Because really, at that price there is no excuse not to go for a hike and eat yummy food.
Read On 5 sprinkles of fairy dust

Stop And Smell The Skunk Cabbage Vol. 24

7:37 AM
1. A new cosmetic bag can make you feel better about all the broken pencils and shattered eye shadow you dump into it. Here's a free pdf pattern and tutorial for a really cute one. They make great gifts too.


2. Anti-wine. "Free from any dictates of tradition." Apparently they mix up different grapes all willy nilly without any attempt to "color within the lines". Their red wine is "Johannes Brahms’ Double Concerto in A Minor meets Pet Sounds by the Beach Boys.” Uber cool or a potential subset of snobbery? The coolest thing however are their wine labels which sport Bruegel the Elder's "beekeeper". He was one badass artist in the 16th century.


3. OCD chef cutting board. If you are obsessed with cutting your vegetables exactly perfect...they now have a cutting board for all your psychiatric needs.

4. Cuddled eggs. Has anyone ever heard of such a thing? Have I been missing out this whole time? Huggled hash? Cozzied pie?


5. We've been sick so much this year, that I have to say I was almost tempted to buy these nostril filters. Just tape these bad babies over your nose and wha laa... a proverbial castle gate against allergens and viruses. Add rubber gloves, a face mask and protective eye goggles and I think we might be able to go out in public.

6. The mom's eyes in this picture have gotten a hold of me and are haunting me. She's holding her dead baby, and it's such a horrifyingly private and grief stricken moment to have preserved. Apparently collecting pictures of dead babies is a hobby, and has a thriving business on Ebay. The whole article is morbidly fascinating.


7. Catechism question for the week. How does Christ execute the office of redeemer?
Read On 1 sprinkles of fairy dust

Windy Day Braids

4:35 PM







I love Spring, but it does seem like a cycle of sunshine, wind then rain. (I like the first and the last...like bookends)

Braids are really really hard to pull off. In my head they're magical, whimsical and so full of potential. In real life, it's hard not to look like you're twelve.

In fantasy I imagine heroines looking something like this...



I guess I should find it heartening that those looks are at least possible?

These look a little more every day doable.




Whatever the case, I need someone ( sister/sister-in-law *cough* cough* ) to come experiment with me.

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Guest Post - Entertainment Recap

2:24 PM

(Esther: Some of our all time favorites have come out of Kevin's recaps. He covers pretty much everything that comes under the heading of 'entertainment', which mostly includes movies, books, comics and TV. Read through it, skim through it, or use it as a reference. He's so good at writing short synopsis I know instantly whether or not I need to check something out for myself. )


Recommendations: The Secret Speech, a great thriller and mystery that discloses a place we should all know more about; The Lost History of Christianity, a readable history of the church in the east; Notes from the Tilt-a-whirl, great reflections on the beauty of creation and the perfection of our God.

1. Astonishing X-men, Joss Whedon - While I have read a few graphic novels, I have never been a big comic book guy. But, since I generally like Whedon and I generally like superheroes, I figured that I should give this one a shot. It was entirely worthwhile. The plotline covers four volumes, and mainly follows Kitty Pryde as she returns to Professor Xavier's school, though now as a teacher. Professor X is gone, and the school is in the charge of Cyclops, Wolverine, Emma Frost, the Beast, and Kitty. Soon, they find themselves under attack from a government seeking to rid itself of mutants, powerful aliens with an inexplicable hatred of mutants, and an unknown threat from inside the school. However, the story line is not really about all of these exterior threats, but about Kitty growing up and stepping into her role as a hero. I will give the caveat that if you are an "S" personality type, this may not be a great read. You have to be willing to guess or ignore a lot of references to backstory that a casual acquaintance with X-men will not help with.


2. Alcatraz versus the Shattered Lens, Brandon Sanderson - For those unfamiliar with the series, this is the continuing story of Alcatraz Smedry, a young man who finds out that he has an amazing talent: he can break anything. His family helps lead the war between the Evil Librarians and the Free Nations. Now, rather than being an object of rescue, Alcatraz begins to assume his place as a genuine martial leader in this war. To say much more than this would spoil the previous volumes. Of course, this book continues in the same tone, addressing the reader, often approach nonsense, much like the Series of Unfortunate Events. It is still funny and enjoyable, but if you do not like that style, you won't have much taste for this book. One additional warning: This is the fifth volume of what looks to be a six volume series. However, there seems to be some conflict between the author and the publisher about getting the sixth volume out. If you haven't started the series yet, you might hold out for that publication before diving in.


3. Uglies; Pretties; Specials; Extras, Scott Westerfeld - Even when I consistently get to the end of dystopian youth fiction and find that I retrospectively did not enjoy it all that much, I still burn through it and enjoy it while reading. (Hello, Hunger Games.) This was precisely my experience with the Uglies series. The story follows Tally Youngblood, a teenager anxiously awaiting the day when she will receive the operation to become a "Pretty." The operation will remove all defects and build her face to be the model of attractiveness, just like everyone else over the age of sixteen. Until then, Tally lives in a dorm with the other Uglies, who are largely ignored by society. Tally, however, has a penchant for pranks and when she meets Shay, another Ugly, they have a great time. Shay wants to avoid the operation, so when her day comes, she leaves for a rumored town of rebels who refuse to submit to this rebuilt society. The government then co-opts Tally's operation, forcing her to hunt down Shay and the other rebels before she can become a Pretty. The following volumes reveal more about this remade world and give Westerfeld's world-building a real chance to shine. In the end, I think that's why I tend to burn through these books and enjoy them as I read. I like interesting worlds centered on interesting ideas. Westerfeld does a great job of that, far superior to the Hunger Games, in my opinion, and much more comparable to Gregor the Overlander in the level of detail and thought given to the world the story portrays. But for one of these books to really stick with me, I think that I have to find a character that I truly like. That was the massive failing of Hunger Games, and while I like the Uglies characters better, it is still fairly marginal. (Gregor had the best characters by far in this set of comparisons.) In the end, Uglies and its companions are good for a fun and fast read, but will not be lifelong friends.


4. The Secret Speech, Tom Rob Smith - This volume is the sequel to Child 44, another murder mystery set in Soviet Russia. Two years have intervened between the two volumes, and Khrushchev has taken control. Most importantly for Leo Demidov, Khrushchev has issued a secret speech, denouncing the activities of the secret police during Stalin's reign. Leo and other past and present officers soon find their past misdeeds crashing down on their heads. The novel is tense and gripping and full of action. Leo and his wife are great and complex characters and as the action moves along, the reader gets a tremendous view of life in the oppressive USSR. Child 44 was great, and The Secret Speech is a worthy successor.


5. The Lost History of Christianity, Phillip Jenkins - Jenkins, a history professor at Penn State University, gives the reader a great survey of the first millennia of the church in Asia and Africa. Our western-centric histories and traditions largely ignore the early spread and success of the church on those continents, which lasted far longer than many credit it with, well past the dawn of Islam. While I am not certain that Jenkins is a believer, his study is readable, informative and fascinating.


6. Notes from the Tilt-a-Whirl, N.D. Wilson - I am conflicted about this book. Nate Wilson studies the world around us, telling short stories about his life, communicating poignant analogies, and quickly piercing the heart of many of the complaints made against God. He seems to ramble at times, but usually comes back to the point. His prose is beautiful and many of the vignettes were powerful. He does particularly good work addressing the problem of evil. In almost every objective respect, this is a great book. I can think of a number of people that I would give it to with little or no hesitation. My personal hesitation is almost so insignificant that I hesitate to mention it, but there is just a little something in his voice that annoys me. It was not there in his fiction, but here I just feel an edge of pretentiousness. Still, I doubt this is something that will annoy most readers, and on that basis I do recommend it.


7. Among Others, Jo Walton - For a little more than a year now, I have been greatly enjoying Jo Walton's book reviews on Tor.com. I feel like she has a generous perspective that I truly appreciate, and her vast knowledge and reading of speculative fiction has introduced me to several works that I have greatly enjoyed. Plus she hates Stranger in a Strange Land, and that makes anyone better in my eyes. So, when many, many people began raving about her latest book, I felt like I should pick it up right away. Among Others is a few months from the journal of Morwena, a teenager, a twin, who has just lost her sibling and much of the use of one leg in an accident. She lives in Wales and England in the late seventies, in a world almost exactly like our own. (Or maybe even exactly like our own?) The only difference between her world and ours is the very unobtrusive presence of fairies, who Morwena has seen all her life, though most people either do not see them, or see them and forget them as they grow older. The few months we see involve Morwena growing and changing, and the great mystery of the book is in finding out what exactly has happened to her. The driving force of the book is in her constant reference to the great works of speculative fiction, which frame her view of the world. This is definitely a good and interesting book, especially for anyone who has grown up enjoying fiction. I would only selectively recommend it, though. I think it takes a particular type of person to really enjoy it, and I think that I am right on the cusp of not being one of those people.

Read On 0 sprinkles of fairy dust

Stop And Smell The Skunk Cabbage Vol. 23

7:24 PM
1. Beet root pesto. I know it sounds weird, but it's oh so beautiful. Such a rich gorgeous color you almost never see in relation to dinner. I want to plan a whole party around the notion.

2. More kids room decor. Good boys themes are sometimes hard to find, but I don't know any boy (or girl for that matter) who wouldn't think this room looked super fun.

3. Nerd out over a cross section of a wok and how it works.

4. A cool interactive map of changing demographics. Watch population growth and decline, changes is racial and ethnic concentrations, and patterns of housing development. Is it worrisome that it looks like everyone is moving out of the central U.S.?

5. Mintronics. A fully stocked electronics kit contained in a mint can. I mention this for anyone who's married to someone like Jim.

6. For everyone who gets a high out of a good deal. There is now a site that tracks and projects price drops on Amazon. I can see this being a huge help for finding the best deal on Amazon.

7. The idea of using Golden Book pages to create a storybook gown reminds me of several ill fated project runway dresses, and one in particular. But I can't help but think this golden book gown is charming and well done. Somebody definitely made it work.

8. Using tampons to get drunk? Apparently teenagers are soaking the things in vodka so they don't have to worry about the tell tale alcohol breath.

9. Transglutaminase. The glue that holds your chicken nuggets and california rolls together. Meat glue! It's all very facinating in an Elmers meets Betty Crocker kind of way...a new twist on kindergartners glue and pasta.

10. Prevue your child in utero. A belt that you can strap on your growing belly and watch your child. If I understand correctly, it uses ultrasound technology to create a simulation of what your baby is doing. Seems perhaps like a land mine of extra worry?

11. Magnetic paint. Seems like this would be a useful commodity in kids rooms...from toddler to teenager.

12. An inflatable carseat. Is that like sitting on an airbag or more like trying to protect your kid with a balloon?

13. Whew, catechism question for the week. What does Christ do as our redeemer?
Read On 0 sprinkles of fairy dust

Taking a Break

2:40 PM
Due to technical difficulties (read technological incompetence) Fairies and Frenchfries will be back this Sunday after a two week (yikes) break. Blurgh.
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